Short Update, Story

Just a quick update and story. So today I was doing really well, then I came home kinda hungry(I hadn't eaten for 7 hours) and decided it would be a good idea to make pizza. I ate half of it bleh, so like half of a medium pizza. I feel so sick right now, so I'm letting my stomach settle and then doing the running program. I have also been chugging water like it is going out of style. Which is making me fee bloated. And to top it all off, JJ is going to the hospital tomorrow to get "emotional stabilizers". Just before I realized what he was talking about I said "If you fucking show up stoned tomorrow, I'll leave you on the deck." So to say the least I feel pretty bad. He likes smoking weed to mellow out, but hasn't for almost a month.

So the story today, is actually just story, completely fiction... for the most part.
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I rubbed at where my collar bone should be, and saw the fat compress under my touch. I slide my hand down to where the roll covered where my hip bones were. All the years of eating junk and definitely caught up with me. Years of my mother telling me to clean my plate, or to have some chips. I hated myself, more then anything else in the world. I had quit cutting almost three years ago, now when I got upset or angry I would bite myself, hard enough to leave a mark, but not hard enough to draw blood. I had just barely raised my wrist to my mouth when she showed up.

"What cha doing?" Ana asked in her sing song voice.

"Easing my pain." I replied simply.

"How is that going to help? You binged, now you need to workout, so that you don't add even more lard to that fat body of yours."

Ana was so harsh, but she was always right. "Ana, what should I do?" It was always the same question, with a varied answer.

"Well for starters you can do your running program, then do the sexy stretch," She paused to laugh, "Though I don't know if anyone could consider you sexy."

Again she was right, and I knew it. The whole reason for JJ not wanting to date had to be because of my weight right? I mean all his other girlfriends had been very thin and very flexible. One day I would be there too.

Ana gave me a light push towards the treadmill. I turned and went to my room instead.

"What are you doing?" Ana screamed at me, "You have to work out!"

I ignored her, and slid on my walking clothes, and then my shoes. "Ana I just wanted to get ready. I don't like walking and jogging in jeans."

"You weren't going to skip out?"

"No Ana. I want your help."

"Good."

"Til death due us part, remember?" I said with a smile, as I started walking on the treadmill.