SO I've been eating really bad the past couple of days. I'm having some issues with JJ, which is making me a bit emotional. So after these two days of eating I'm sitting at 225.2... bleh... it sucks... but I'm doing day two of the running program tonight, and going to my old high school tomorrow. I'm going to take water with me and maybe a diet soda.... but no money and no food. I plan on having a good day tomorrow. I have to study for forensics. I'm taking a few courses while I'm trying to find a job. I have so much work to do especially on my body. I promise to post some pic's a bit later... cause I didn't before.
I just feel like no matter what I do it isn't ever going to be good enough. I look at all my friends and notice that every single one of them is smaller then me. And then I realized... that's why I'm looked at as the "friend". No guy's see me as a potential girlfriend. Then JJ comes along and I'm all he wants. He's been chasing me for almost 3 years, and now that I want to give it a shot, he doesn't want to date. He's afraid of one of us getting hurt. So right now our offical title is "People who randomly make out." I love it and hate it at the same time. Just like I love and hate Ana.
I'm thinking that maybe if I go to the school everyday, it might help me. Not only that but it is also like at least a 20 minute walk there, which would also help. I'm also going to start drinking more green tea. I love green tea I just forget to drink... like anything at all...
So I think I'm going to have to figure out why I'm all upset, and then worry about getting back on track, because until I have it figured out I won't be able to get back on track no matter how hard I try!
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I have a huge problem withe emotional eating too. Whenever i feel unloved, i turn to food. I wish i could turn it into the opposite response, but as much as i try, i always eat. Grr. Stupid food. Who invented that stuff anyway!? Lol.
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