To Be Fat Like Me

I have watched this movie before but watching it now, there were a few lines that really struck me.
"It's like when I'm fat I don't own my own body anymore. Everyone has a right to an opinion on it. What is that about?"
"I've been the fattest kid in my class since grade school. Eighth grade graduation they didn't have a gown that fit me. The only kiss I've ever had the boy was dared to. How are you supposed to feel like you are worth something, when you are told 15 different times a day you aren't."

I mean why does all of society dictate that we have to be thin to be beautiful? Why does it matter so much what we look like? Why is it that even if a girl looks like the wrong side of a monkeys butt she can still get a really good looking guy if she is thin?

I don't understand where all of this comes from. It's so wrong to think that you are worth nothing. But I mean it's true. How can you think you are worth something when you are told so many times that you aren't? I went for a walk tonight, and all I could think was why can't I be pretty? Why can't I be thin? Where on earth do these thoughts even come from?

I'm beginning to understand why I'm so unhappy. I hate myself which in turn makes me really depressed. It's weird girls usually think I'm really pretty, and this girl named Crystal (who I don't really know) asked Josh who he'd rather be with. I wasn't surprised when he said her, but she turned to me and was like "Oh my god. I wouldn't have asked him if I knew he was going to say me. I totally thought he was going to pick you." I put a smile on and told her it was okay. I fake a smile fifty times a day to make everyone else happy. But what about me? Who is making me happy?

I know that I'm ranting, but my point is, why does what we look like matter so much? Why can't it just be about who we are?

This does however motivate me to go workout. I want to b beautiful because it matters. I want to be thin because it matters. I will be a 12 by the end of July. I will be. Because I have a great pair of American Eagle pants, and I have never owned a pair before. Right I am off to clear a spot on the floor and do crunches and such until I pass out.

Do better then me, and you'll be doing well!
Stay Strong.
Be beautiful.