I feel like I have failed you all because I've been eating... but I also don't want my family to worry. I know that I haven't been doing too bad, but I also know that I could be doing better. I want to learn to hide food, to fabricate evidence, I want to be able to say no to my favorites. I've been watching Hannah's Story on youtube... it's a portion of Hollyoaks a British soap opera(?)... it is so motivating... I mean really... if she can do it so can I.
So I started posting this last night, only to be interrupted by none other then Jay. Yeah I thought I was done with that... but apparently not. He showed up need a place to stay so I let him stay the night, and hopefully he won't be back, because I really don't need that. He kept telling me he was sorry and that he loved me, but I mean really? I hadn't seen him for two months and he expects me to just forgive him like that? I don't think so.
Anyway... I leave for Seattle in less then two days, and I am sooooo fat. Like I mean I weighed myself last time and saw the dreaded 225..... it was horrible. Hopefully today will have pushed that down.
But alas I have packing to do so... I must be off.
I want to be perfect. I NEED to be perfect.
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It's ok, everyone messes up sometimes :) Don't worry, you will get back on track!
ReplyDeleteHI,i found your blog very inspiring i weigh 180 to 190 n wit stress 200 n its very discouraging.... but its nice to see someone wit some of the same struggles as me and around my weight (no offense) i usually see girls who r like 120 or less n thats discouraging... Morgan
ReplyDeleteHey hun! I just wanted to let you know, you won my blog contest! Go check my latest post and get back to me whenever you can!
ReplyDeleteGood job hun! :)