It's horrible wanting to die, but not killing yourself simply for the fact that you don't want people to remember you as fat.
I have slipped back into a rather depressed state, and have been sitting here just crying. Mostly about how I'm not good enough enough, how I deserve nothing, how I hate myself. Just dumb shit.
I'm at about 600 calories for the day and I feel like shit for that, but logically I know its less then half what I really need. And it was all healthy. So that's good.
I was 197.4 this morning.... which is also good.
But I need to go cry some more and just get it out. Hopefully the next post is happier.
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Write about what you feel. If you feel depressed and feel like shit... Tell us about it! You've got friends here and we care about how your doing :)
ReplyDeleteThis is going to sound stupid but crying is one of the best ways to stop feeling like shit. It's better to release those emotions than hold them in. I wish I could say something to make it better :(
We got your back darlin.
Haha to the drool comment!
ReplyDeletePiercings make me feel better too. I'm sorry you're hurting so bad :(
No..no...not stupid. Human emotions are way complex and even if you don't know "why" exactly you feel the way that you feel or why something triggers you in a certain way...you feel that way for a reason. It's a valid, legitimate emotion and it's not stupid at all.
ReplyDelete:( Why does love have to be so complicated? It would be nice if you got to choose who you fell in love with and if they didn't recipricate, then you could just make yourself fall out of love. But the heart wants what it wants...whether you protest or not. I wish there was some magic fix for this...beside time.
ReplyDeleteNight night doll face. Happy diving! ;)
ReplyDeleteI offer you my cyber shoulder you can cry on it anytime. I know how you feel except I'm jealous that you can cry to get it out of your system. I have a hard time with that I can feel the want to cry but it just won't come and when I do cry it's ugly and doesn't ever last long enough. i sometimes wish for that really ugly cry with the snot the tears and the drools.
ReplyDeletei really hope you feel better and if you need to vent and don't want to do it on here shot me an e-mail(on my profile) i'm always there in a cyber way of course.
stay string girl!! You can do anything! Just put your mind to it and make little goals :-)
ReplyDeleteI always find making goals I can accomplish fast helps me in the long run
<3
oh goodness, i think we all have these days, i hope you feel better. and good job on the loss!
ReplyDelete<3