Starting Out

Hey guys,
for all intents and purposes my name is Rae, I'm 19 and have falling deeply and irrevocably in love with Ana (anorexia). This is a pro-ana site, if you have a problem with that I don't want to know, you can just leave and pretend that you never saw this site. Kay?
So I guess you all want a bit of my history? Originally I was an emotional overeater, and compulsive eater, and until about two weeks ago lived as such. I am currently classified as morbidly obease, but have lived parts of my life with Ana. I had decided that I would rather be fat and be able to eat what ever I wanted when I wanted, then be thin and restrict what I ate... then I became so fat that I hated myself, I almost didn't attend my own graduation because of my self loathing. Now after two weeks of my new life style and only one binge I'm starting to feel good about who I am again.
I know that alot of fat people say that they are anorexic to get attention, but that's not what this is about. I have decided that if I'm going to have an "eating disorder" I might as well be thin and beautiful rather than fat and gross.
So far I have lost five pounds and am incredibly happy about that, but I want more! I want to get to my target weight in less then a year... and that means I have another 95 pounds to go!! Now remember I did say I was over weight, and I meant actually over weight. I am currently sitting at 229lbs. Uuug, don't hate me I'm working on it. Like I said I've already lost 95. 200 is my first target, then 170, then 140, and finally 130. I think in the end I'll want to be less then 130, in fact I know I will want to be less. But keep in mind these are just targets, each one with a specific reward. I only have rewards for 200 and 170 so far though and the 170 one might become the reward for 140 instead.
Just wanted to post my background before I get into really posting.
I will be posting typical conversations I "have" with Ana. They aren't actually happening, but they are kind of what I tell myself each day. Hopefully I will be able to post everyday, if not every few. I am currently waiting for my computer to get back from repairs.
I'll be posting the last few days I went through tonight so that you all have something to read other then my lame background information.

Rae