Real Update

So I thought I should give you guys a real update. Yesterday was both successful and a huge failure. I ate some noodles for lunch(340cals) and then I didn't eat again until about 10:30pm. And we all know that eating at night is bad. I won't even tell you that intake, but it was when my success happened. I was eating away at my KD and realized that I didn't even want anymore. I threw out about half a cup of food. I have never been able to throw out food like that. I also had a rather large chocolate bar. However it opened my eyes. I eat because I'm bored not that I'm hungry and not that I want to eat. I eat for something to do.
So here I am now at 3:30pm after a horrible night for eating, and I have nothing in my tummy. I haven't even felt the need to drink my diet Pepsi that I bought just to have a diet fizzy drink.
I have also fell madly in love with Supersize vs. Superskinny again. I keep watching episodes online, and thinking how can those Supersizers get to that size. I mean I am in between the two extremes. But I know which end I would rather be on. I keep looking at how some of the superskinny's eat and think.. "I could do that. If I just tried." And right now I feel like I can do anything. I am planning what to eat, what to say, what exercises to do. I just have so many things running through my head. And I know if I get hungry drinking diet drinks will make me feel full.
So I can't remember if I told you guys why I was away. My computer kind of exploded in my lap and need to be repaired. So it is currently being fixed (it needed a new mother board), and I am playing on my new lap top.

So with all of that said my plan for today it
Lunch: 1 slice of bread with tomato 55cals
Supper: soup 60cals
Snack: 1 slice of bread with cheese 100cals
total: 215 (but we'll round up to 300 just in case I eat a little more or add some crackers to said soup)

So 300 cals for today is the plan. It's exciting.

Exercise for today: 30 minutes of walking
50 of each crunchs, leg lifts, modified push-ups, reverse crunches, and squats.
30 minutes of dance

Yay for eating little and actually exercising. But I'm going to go wash the dishes and eat my lunch. But first a poem for thought.

I opened my eyes
ran to the bathroom
something had to change
the numbers weren't any lower
tears stung my eyes
I looked at my self in disgust
I hated my body
I skipped breakfast
I went for a walk instead.
I fabricated dishes for lunch
I did crunches instead.
I ate some soup for supper
but threw it up in the bathroom
The emptiness was growing
surely my bones were showing
yet when I looked in the mirror
only fat and lard was there.
But soon it would be gone
soon I would be nothing
but perfected emptiness.