So after binging for the past couple of days I feel rather unqualified to even have this blog. However I need this blog. It is becoming an addiction. Just the way Ana keeps luring me in. I am just lacking self control. However my dear friend BellaAna reassured me that we all fall screw up sometimes and that we just have to keep believing in ourselves. She has been helping me so much lately, and I want to keep thanking her over and over again.
Dear Ana,
I continue to fail you, yet you stay with me. I wish that I could be more faithful to you, but it's just so hard. My life would be easier if I could, so why do I continue to go against you? Maybe because this is still new, or because I am trying to be rebellious, but whatever the reason it is tearing me up inside. All I want in life is to be thin and beautiful just like everyone else, and with your help and divine inspiration that should be possible. Yet I keep failing you. But for tonight know that I am going to bed hungry for the first time in a long time and that I hope that this will at least bring a smile to your face.
Love Always
Rae
PS I will try harder in the coming days, weeks, months, and years.
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Sorry I'm so pathetic guys, but Iwill try harder, I will do better.
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you're not pathetic. at least you're trying. hang in there, doll.
ReplyDeletexoxo
zette
Who is Ana?
ReplyDeleteThat kind of negative self-talk is exactly why you're having trouble! I know its counter-intuitive, especially with Ana lurking around, but if you keep thinking you're pathetic or not worth it, your next thought is always going to be "fuck it, I'm already fat, why not binge." And trust me we've all been there, but you cannot think like that or you will get stuck in a horrible cycle.
ReplyDeleteSo, as much as you can, try to remember that every little bit counts. Obviously getting thin takes time, so forgive yourself for your binge days and don't ever let a bad intake derail you tomorrow, or the next day. Also, don't ever forget you have us :)
Good luck lady!