I am currently watching Alice in Wonderland (the new version with Johnny Depp, and Anne Hathaway), when I suddenly realized that a) I hate trying to be normal when all I want is to be thin.... and b) dear God its been a long time since I have updated my blog and have ever so much to tell you guys.
So first and foremost I am back up to about 203 after being force fed and watched, and now I am what is considered "normal" in my family but what is actually clinically obese, not just an idea in my head. I am actually obese.
Second I am moving out of my sisters place within the next couple months and in with a couple friends, possibly three. All girls. So we can have our own little world. Now none of them have an ED but it doesn't much matter to me. We won't see each other much anyway, because of us all working different shifts.
Okay third, the love of my life walked back into my life only to jump right back out. On here he is going to be known as Edward because he reminds me a little of Edward off of Twilight. We met about 6 years ago and really hit it off, but we kind of lost touch, and I'm sure we are meant to be but he just wants to be friends. I am going to love him forever but I know I can be satisfied with someone else.
Fourth I am not going to college in the fall. I have decided I want to just live life for a while. And figure out what I really want to do with it before I spend a fortune on an education.
Fifth I need to get back to Onderland myself. I hate climbing on the scale and seeing it say fatass. So I need to come up with some kind of plan of action! So I am going to do a couple of hours of research and then I will update this post as to what my plan is.
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I understand your frustration. I'm also clinically obese (I think, or at least close). My family doesn't force feed me (far from it, actually), but I still get it. My hope for you is that you can try to be healthy while losing weight, because it will be harder to keep the weight off if you lose it unhealthily. But you can ignore me if you want :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the boy, but I'm glad that you're dealing with it ok. And good luck finding a plan!
It's good to have you back, dearie. I was beginning to worry about you. Moving in with people that don't know you have a disorder, and don't have disorders (therefore don't know much about disorders) will make it much easier for you to reach your goals. Best of luck!
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