So about a week ago I went to my friends work and picked up a bunch of supplements. Just the standard multivitamin, hemp oil (for all my omega's), a protein supplement, and an antioxidant supplement. All in an attempt to make everyone think that I am trying to be healthier. Now for a couple days I was, but I just can't do it. On some level I think that I want to be sick, that maybe people will actually care about me if I'm sick. But the rational part of me screams out to be normal.
Looking back I strongly believe my disordered eating started about 7 years ago, when I became a vegetarian. I cut out meats because 1) It was eating those cute animals, and 2) it decreases your risk of heart disease by 35%. That was the first conscious thing I did for my health. Before I just wanted to be healthy. But when kids keep picking on you because of your weight, something changes. And it isn't about being healthy anymore. It's about becoming thin. It's about becoming what society expects. It's about becoming better than everyone.
I'm considering doing ABC.... but I haven't decided if I want to do that, or just go with restricting. What do you guys think?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Would you share a story about your experiences and a picture or two on my blog?
ReplyDeleteThanks,
BoW
www.bodyofwords.net
I know what you mean. I too started out just wanting to be healthier, and then it progressed into longing to be sick.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the ABC goes, all it really did for me was frustrate me. The farthest i ever got was day 8. It made me feel pathetic. Finding your style of restricting that you can stick with is much more encouraging, at least it certainly was for me.
Hi. I've tried doing ABC, but i allways eat above 600 calories (cous i live with my parents, i don't want them to guess whot i'm doing). However I think that it is a good diet, especially with this book 'diet boot camp' Gillian McKeith. It helps and motivates.
ReplyDeleteSorry for my vocabulary, i don't know engish to well ;P