So it has literally been forever. Over 5 months? Almost half a year. There is so much to update everyone on. And so many blogs to read. I don't even know where to begin.
So shortly after my last post I found the love of my life. I have been with him since June 12, we live together in a two-level three bedroom town house together. Just us and our two kittys. And life is good. Except for one thing. I am still a fat ass. The scale this morning said 204. Once KW (that's what we'll go with in case anyone finds this) and I got together I felt better about who I was and pretty much instantly gained 10 pounds. But the weight has been daunting me since forever. He knows all about my eating problems, and wants me to be better. I haven't lost any real weight but I haven't gained any either. And now I am extatic. I am taking a tonne of vitamines, and two different diet pills, all with my boyfriends permission. He really only wants me to be happy but I do also know that he wants me to be healthy. Which is something I don't think I could ever fully be. I have purged while with him, but lied and told him my stomach was just really upset. I have listened to Ana music, read some blogs, watched some videos, read some books. I get upset with myself everyday because I do count the calories I eat, but know KW will be upset if he finds out how little I have eaten, because I can't lie to him. So now with taking the diet pills everyday, and eating super healthy, and working out more than I say I am I will start losing weight fast.
Now other than the internal battle, I was promoted to store manager at my job a month and a half ago. I get to run the show. Boss around 6 boys. It's great. I also have picked up a second job for Christmas season. So often I am too busy to eat, which is also great.
I have completely forgotten what else I was going to talk about so for now I shall leave with that, and hopefully it won't be 5 months before I'm back again.
Five hundred calories a day is working. Truth = 094.00.
Another goal weight. W00t.
I should be diamond sparkly champagne shooting to the stars, but the loud speaker between my ears crackls on, full volume, with another goal, 085.00, 085.00, 085.00.
085.00 is dangerland. 085.00 is Fourth of July fireworks in a small metal box.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Yay! You're back! And seems like your life is going great. Don't worry about the weight gain you'll lose it right back with just the right willpower.
ReplyDeletei ran accross your blog from a comment posted on my last entry. and cant believe how similar our lives sound. were about the same size, living with eating problems in town houses with our boyfriends and kitty cats lol.
ReplyDeleteive been with D almost 2 years and i can understand how hard it can be to juggle a relationship and trying to diet without going too overboard.
ive been exactly where you are right now and all i can say is just keep on pushing forward and trying to eat healthy, take your vitamins and diet pills and exercise.
anywho maybe come by my page and give me a hollar.
xoxoxo
daisy
I have the same battle with Ana and my husband. It's so hard to chose who you love more... you can't choose who you love more! So you try to have them live together in your head as peacefully as possible, much easier said than done. *hugs* But on the posative side, you do hve someone who loves you to tell you how beautiful you really are every day now! Stay strong, dear.
ReplyDelete