Fail, Good Times

So I had a surge of followers today that went from three to eleven... which is amazing... but i don't really deserve all of you following me right now... I failed on ABC day one... stupid peanut butter on toast with chocolate chips... any who... on the plus side I finally got around to ordering Wasted! So hopefully that will help. Oh and on the other plus side, Joseph... the guy I like put away a few of my worries about him, and drove me home... so I felt pretty good... I mean it's not like he gave me a choice... it was either accept the ride... or he probably would have hog tied me and taken me anyway... So that is the update for right now... hopefully tomorrow I will find some control... I need to be perfect.

Failure

So I just fucking failed Ana big time!!! I'm out at my parents once again, which means tonnes of food and cookies and pop and chips.... I didn't do too bad but I figured if I were to write this down now that I wouldn't binge any worse then I already have. I also plan on going out and partying tonight to help burn off all the calories I consumed because I'm a failure. I want Ana to be happy with me, I want to be happy with me. I hate being a failure. And tomorrow probably won't be any better because my sister has decided that we are making pizza. And she wonders why she's fat!!!
This song is everything I dream of... literally.
I See You - Leona Lewis

Walking through a dream
I see you
My light in darkness breathing hope of new life
Now I live through you and you through me
Enchanted
I pray in my heart that this dream never ends

I see me through your eyes
Living through life flying high
Your life shines the way into paradise
So I offer my life as a sacrifice
I live through your love

You teach me how to see
All that’s beautiful
My senses touch your world I never pictured
Now I give my hope to you
I surrender
I pray in my heart that this world never ends

I see me through your eyes
Living through life flying high
Your love shines the way into paradise
So I offer my life
I offer my love, for you

When my heart was never open
(and my spirit never free)
To the world that you have shown me
But my eyes could not division
All the colors of love and of life ever more
Evermore

(I see me through your eyes)
I see me through your eyes
(Living through life flying high)
Flying high

Your love shines the way into paradise
So I offer my life as a sacrifice
And live through your love
And live through your life
I see you
I see you